Three immense lies that all of us tell ourselves that keep us trapped in the moment with our ex’s.
Our minds have a way of fine-tuning the truth, when we think of our ex’s. At times we tend to think of them more pessimistically than what they really were, as in thinking of them as they were the devil. On the other days, we think of them more optimistically, as in either blaming ourselves for something done entirely wrong or by thinking that we would never be able to find someone as incredible as them. However, on some days we try to not think of them at all or simply avoid their existence. And lastly, some days we simply can’t stop but only think of them!
Despite of how so ever, we twist the truth, we barely remember our ex’s accurately and that is what keeps one stuck in that old relationship, even long after their expiry date. The good news is that there are things one can do to help themselves move on.
First lie, we tell ourselves: It was such a wonderful relationship!
People say that they don’t really remember what went wrong as everything seemed so perfect. Well, the truth is that there defiantly was a reason why things went off. Yes, there probably were times which were wonderful, yet there were also times when things weren’t, which is why they broke up. So, unless the reason for separation is no longer relevant, it is very likely that things would still not work.
Second lie, we tell ourselves: It is all their fault that things didn’t work!
It is something everyone who goes through a bad or an ugly relationship says. This is particularly true when something impartially difficult happened, something like cheating, betrayal, ongoing fights carried away by domestic abuse (verbal or physical). In such situations, people generally focus only on where their partners go wrong or what did they do to them. Yes, one is not denying that it didn’t happen, yet that doesn’t mean they are fully to be blamed here. The truth is that somewhere or the other, we might have contributed to everything. Here, we should ask ourselves questions like; Did I fight back? Try to keep peace at our own end? Stayed longer! Bend down to their level with insults? So, the only thing to remember here is that everyone involved in a relationship always contributes equally to whether it works or not.
Third and last lie, we tell ourselves: My next relationship will be different from what I had!
Some people usually tend to jump from one relationship to another, looking for their Mr or Mrs Right. The truth here is that no one is really ‘the one’ or the ‘perfect’ one. People see or make their partners as such. And because they operate in patterns, the biggest predictor of behavior is their own past behavior. In that vein, they tend to repeat their previous mistakes, throughout the times until they change themselves.
Concludingly, getting over an ex can be very hard, that individual can occupy our thoughts and hearts for days, months and even years. And so in times like this we shall seek help from a professional who would guide us and help us move on.
